


Closure for What He's Done

by suspensegirl



Category: Gossip Girl
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergent, Drama, F/M, Romance, early season 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-09-06
Updated: 2008-09-06
Packaged: 2019-04-08 07:08:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14100057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suspensegirl/pseuds/suspensegirl
Summary: Post 2x01 - Canon Divergent - Chuck has a breakdown with Serena after his inability to get Blair back.





	Closure for What He's Done

**Author's Note:**

> Still unbelievably cringeworthy, but it has been beta'd.
> 
> (Backstory - It's been several months and even though Chuck is able to almost seduce Blair and is very aware of her feelings for him, which are still very strong...she will not forgive him for what he's done. Chuck is at the end of his rope...and has started to feel a loss of purpose at losing Blair. He and Serena get into an argument over this while in his suite. I haven't figured out how she got there...but they are brother and sister, so the situation isn't exactly impossible. Please tell me what you think! This is what follows...)

"Well, you should've thought about that before you cheated on her," the tall blonde spat out, turning away.

Chuck noticed the door to his room was still open and caught Serena by the arm roughly. She struggled to release herself but could not, "Let go of me, Chuck!" she yelled.

His eyes filled with pain, but he still wouldn’t release her. "I can't live without her!"

Serena stopped struggling, but her eyebrows still furrowed in anger and confusion. She huffed out an aggravated sigh. Chuck let go and turned from her. He walked to the other side of the room. Serena could've left if she had wanted to, but her heart softened for Chuck for perhaps the first time ever, so she took one step in his direction and waited.

He sighed. "It was a stupid mistake. The stupidest mistake I've ever made in my life!" he threw up his hand in frustration.

Serena pursed her lips and settled herself on the arm of the nearby couch.

"And you know what?" he turned to face her. "You were right! You were right about everything," he said. "She won't forgive me, she'll never come back to me."

Serena opened her mouth in shock, but nothing would come out.

He looked away again. "It doesn't matter that she still has feelings for me. It doesn't matter that I regret every moment of hurt I've caused her. It doesn't matter that I believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'm only meant for Blair. I don't belong to anyone else, and I'm never going to fall in love again." He walked away.

Serena stayed silent and by doing so could hear a quiet sniffle coming from the man across the room. Was this for real? Was Chuck Bass actually crying?

Again, he faced Serena momentarily to witness the pity now etched across her face. Down his face flowed a single tear. "Before Blair, I had no purpose," he paused. "I slept with women, did drugs, and didn't care what anyone thought of me or what I did, except my father a little. It’s because of that stupid yearning for my father’s respect that I am in where I am now. Because I didn't like what I was hearing, that my father was right about something concerning me, I went and betrayed the only woman I've ever really cared about!" He took a small nightstand and threw it across the room.

Serena sighed and looked at him, a little unsure of where this would lead. "Chuck, you need to settle down. It's not as bad as you think."

He turned to her, not believing what she had just said. He walked hastily towards her with a raised hand, but the look of fear on her face stilled him. He sighed and collapsed on the couch across from her. He put his hands over his eyes and sunk deep into the cushions. Serena looked on. She was overwhelmed and could not believe everything she had just seen or heard.

"Chuck…" she began.

"Save your pity," he said.

"Chuck," she said again.

He uncovered his eyes.

"What? What could you possibly say that would make me feel any better?"

She cleared her throat and let out a small laugh. "Chuck."

He raised his eyebrows.

"You've got a hold on her."

He rolled his eyes. "Pshh, I know," he said, presumably unconvinced.

Serena's eyebrows furrowed. "What do you mean, you know?"

He sighed and looked at her, annoyed. "I know I do. I'm always going to be attractive to her, always be able to seduce her one way or another…I've nearly done it several times in the last weeks or so…"

Serena's raised her eyebrows, but she wasn't really surprised. She grew confused again. "Well then?"

Chuck leaned forward. "I don't want that," he whispered. "If all I wanted was sex with Blair, then my world wouldn’t be falling apart. You, of all people, who hates my guts probably even more than Blair herself for what I did. I wouldn't suffer humiliation and impossible attempts at destroying my pride even more if I didn't love Blair Waldorf."

There was a long pause before Serena spoke again. "You know, Nate didn't try nearly as hard to get her back, at least not the first time around."

Chuck sighed sarcastically. "Yeah, I know." He turned his face to her. "But she's not stupid enough to go through hell twice. And I swore I wouldn't do it to her. I swore I was better than him when it came to her."

Serena's face melted into a tiny smile.

He shook his head. "I can't sleep with other women anymore…not without thinking about her. Drugs have made me numb, but not numb enough to get her out of my head, to keep my heart from breaking every time I see her with some idiotic guy she's using to make me jealous. I play the game well, but not that well. I've met my match," he nodded his head slowly.

Serena let out a small sigh.

"And she's met hers," a voice from the doorway said.

Serena turned around. "Blair," she said in astonishment.

Chuck looked up in shock, bewildered and awed by the woman standing before him.

Serena looked between the two of them, and silently got up and left the room, shutting the door behind her. Blair took a seat where Serena had been sitting.

Chuck looked at Blair for a long time, searching for the words to say. He placed his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands together. "Look, I know what you're going to say," he began.

She looked at him and remained expressionless, just listening.

"It's not worth it anymore. I have never been more jealous in my entire life, thanks to you. I have never been so unable to perform in what I once considered the highest priority of my life, thanks to you again. And finally, I have never considered myself so worthless, such a waste of time to everyone…" he paused as he saw the sadness fill her face, "But this is my own doing. I have let you down and I can never take it back. I can do nothing to replace the hurt I've caused you, the hurt I swore I would never cause you." He sighed and was silent. He got up and turned to walk across the room. It was almost as if he was talking to the wall, growing weary of his own existence.

Blair stood up and walked to him. He turned to her. "You win," he said. Just then, another tear drifted down his cheek.

Blair stood there speechless. He turned away. She took his hands in her own, sending a shiver through his entire body as he tried to recompose himself. He turned back to her when she spoke. "I don't belong with Nate. Never have, never will. You said that to me the night of the wedding, and I believed it."

His eyes questioned her. Where was she going with this?

"I don't belong with James, either. I don't belong with anyone…."

He opened his mouth to beg her to stop. He couldn't bear her questioning her existence as much as he had done. He searched her face, trying to find the meaning of her words. "Blair…"

"Except you," she finished, looking intently at him. She leaned forward slowly as he remained frozen. Little by little, their lips finally met in a tender kiss. He breathed in and out slowly as if his relief had finally come. She laid a few more kisses on his lips and he reacted, beginning to kiss her slowly, stronger and more passionately, and then moving away to nuzzle his head in her hair. "Oh God, Blair… The things you do to me." He could feel himself relaxing. He was no longer tense and especially not after she wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled into him.

Blair let out a silent tear. "No, the things you do to me." She pulled away slightly to look at him. "You have my heart, Chuck." She stroked his hair. She just stood there and looked at him, so much love filling her eyes and spilling into his. She nuzzled her head on his shoulder. "I forgive you," she sighed. She too, had been holding in the tension for too long to remember. He held her head up to look at him. "Really?" he asked.

She nodded. "Yeah, I'm sick of playing this game."

He chuckled. "True. There are much better games we could be playing."

She smirked at him. "Any ideas, Bass?" she asked, grabbing his hand and leading him to an adjoining bedroom.

He looked her up and down, following her like a puppy dog. "For you, Waldorf, anything."

 


End file.
